Thankful

I am up early this morning because Leah's monitor had some bizarre feedback on it that was driving me crazy and very loud. So, here I sit. I see now that God had something different planned than sleep for me this morning. I have had some great moments with Him.

He is teaching me so much lately...like the fact that being thankful is sometimes an act of obedience and not based on feelings. "...give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." - 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Lord, thank you for my experience with ovarian cancer. I have seen a ministry birthed out of that whole ordeal that I could not have imagined. I love pouring myself into the lives of other women (especially moms) who are facing cancer. I love supporting them through treatment, sharing funny stories about not having hair, and crying with them when they wonder if they'll ever get out of bed again.

Lord, thank you that my job of seven years is being eliminated. It's been a great ride, and I know You have something amazing planned for me in this next season. Though I don't know what it is, I will trust You and know that You will continue to provide for our family, just as You have always done.

Lord, thank you that I still don't have the results of the breast cancer gene test that I had several weeks ago. I hate to wait, but You have often given me a sense of peace as I wonder if today will be the day that I get the phone call.

Thank You, Lord, that despite my best hopes, some of the friendships I left in VA have seemed to end. I now see that these friendships were for a season, and although it's tough to accept and I miss them very much, I see that they have moved on and You are making room for me to have some close friendships here in TX. Thank You for the lonely moments...I am learning to rely on You more than ever.

And then there are the easy things to thank Him for...for my precious husband who loves me madly even when I'm cranky, high maintenance, and cook the same thing for dinner all the time because it's all I really feel like I do well...I am thankful for his sacrificial love, for our laughs, and for every moment we spend together.

Thank You, Lord, for my amazing daughters who love life with total abandon, who love us, and who love to sing You songs before they go to bed. Thank you for their honest prayers even if they are pretty funny (I think that I can sometimes hear you giggling too). Thank You for Anna Claire and her loose teeth, for her infectious laugh, and for her constant questions. Thank You for Leah and her sweet giggle, her mischevous nature, and for the fact that You helped me maintain my dignity and grace even when she climbed out of the cart in the grocery store, took off her clothes, and peed on the floor when I was checking out. Thank You for her love of cuddling with Momma and for how she dances when she sees Dora on TV.

Thank You for providing not only a home in TX, but the home of my dreams. I am in awe every day when I wake up. I cannot believe I'm still here.

Thank You, God, for my amazing family scattered in several states, and their love and belief in me.

Thank You, Lord, for my life. Having come face to face with losing it five years ago, I am grateful every day that You saw fit to keep me around a little longer. I am so amazingly blessed by so many people and experiences.

God, You are good - even in the tough times. May I always be a light for You and a witness for all the many ways You have worked in my life. To You alone belongs all the glory.