Cancer In My Rear View Mirror

Six years ago today, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I went on a journey for which you don't need a passport, a ticket or a suitcase. It was no vacation, I can assure you. I found myself on a runaway train with no stops – and one on which I never intended to be a passenger.

I had a 16 month old baby girl at the time, and I was still fairly newly married. Nothing says “get to know your spouse” like having your husband see digital pictures of your diseased ovary post-surgery, having him help you get dressed, and having him shave your head in the shower because all your hair is falling out. In sickness and in health, indeed. I am painfully aware that there are many marriages that do not survive cancer. I've seen it happen up close and personal.

Today, I want to honor my husband, Gary. He is one of the bravest and most loyal people I know. There were many days when he would get up and go to work when I was sick and I know he was terrified. Terrified that we wouldn't make it through to the spring. Terrified that something would happen to me. Terrified that he would have to raise Anna Claire alone. Gary held my hand through many dark hours, wiping my tears and reminding me that together, we could make it through anything. He reminded me on a regular basis that cancer would not define me – it would be a new ministry. He told me how beautiful I still was to him. He told me how strong I was, even though I was very weak. He assured me constantly of his love for me.

I am happy to say that cancer is now in my rear view mirror...just a part of my past but no longer a part of my “present.” I have now had two beautiful children post-cancer. I've had no recurrences. Miraculously, I have entire days when I don't even think of cancer...something I never thought possible.

And cancer has birthed a beautiful ministry. For a long time after I recovered, I didn't want to have anything to do with cancer. I didn't want to meet anyone else who had cancer, support anyone with cancer, or talk about it. But God gently pursued me and continued to put people in my life who needed a compassionate heart and a willing ear as they traveled their own journey with cancer. I can honestly say now that walking alongside other women who face cancer is one of my passions. I love to encourage them, to cry with them, to make them laugh, and to just sit with them. While it was a devastating diagnosis and a very painful time in my life, ovarian cancer has become one of the best blessings I've experienced.

“Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise His holy name.
Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits -
Who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
Who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
Who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.”
Psalm 103: 1-5

Lord Jesus, You've been so faithful to me...