Cancer In My Rear View Mirror

Six years ago today, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I went on a journey for which you don't need a passport, a ticket or a suitcase. It was no vacation, I can assure you. I found myself on a runaway train with no stops – and one on which I never intended to be a passenger.

I had a 16 month old baby girl at the time, and I was still fairly newly married. Nothing says “get to know your spouse” like having your husband see digital pictures of your diseased ovary post-surgery, having him help you get dressed, and having him shave your head in the shower because all your hair is falling out. In sickness and in health, indeed. I am painfully aware that there are many marriages that do not survive cancer. I've seen it happen up close and personal.

Today, I want to honor my husband, Gary. He is one of the bravest and most loyal people I know. There were many days when he would get up and go to work when I was sick and I know he was terrified. Terrified that we wouldn't make it through to the spring. Terrified that something would happen to me. Terrified that he would have to raise Anna Claire alone. Gary held my hand through many dark hours, wiping my tears and reminding me that together, we could make it through anything. He reminded me on a regular basis that cancer would not define me – it would be a new ministry. He told me how beautiful I still was to him. He told me how strong I was, even though I was very weak. He assured me constantly of his love for me.

I am happy to say that cancer is now in my rear view mirror...just a part of my past but no longer a part of my “present.” I have now had two beautiful children post-cancer. I've had no recurrences. Miraculously, I have entire days when I don't even think of cancer...something I never thought possible.

And cancer has birthed a beautiful ministry. For a long time after I recovered, I didn't want to have anything to do with cancer. I didn't want to meet anyone else who had cancer, support anyone with cancer, or talk about it. But God gently pursued me and continued to put people in my life who needed a compassionate heart and a willing ear as they traveled their own journey with cancer. I can honestly say now that walking alongside other women who face cancer is one of my passions. I love to encourage them, to cry with them, to make them laugh, and to just sit with them. While it was a devastating diagnosis and a very painful time in my life, ovarian cancer has become one of the best blessings I've experienced.

“Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise His holy name.
Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits -
Who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
Who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
Who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.”
Psalm 103: 1-5

Lord Jesus, You've been so faithful to me...

The Grocery Game, Take One

A couple of friends recently introduced me to The Grocery Game. It's an easy way to combine store sales and coupons (clipped, downloaded and "non-clip" coupons) in order to save the maximum amount of money. I've clipped coupons in the past but honestly it got overwhelming when time was running short so I abandoned it for a long time.

I finally realized that I was tired of paying full retail prices for my groceries and other everyday necessities. I haven't worked since last December and with 3 kids now and only one of us working outside the home, I need to find ways to save money any way I can.

I joined last week and spent a couple of days clipping coupons and figuring out how the whole thing works. A lady named Teri put the whole thing together. And she just wrote a great book about The Grocery Game. - it retails for $12.99 but I found it on Amazon.com this morning for only $2.98! Wahoo!!! It does a great job of explaining the whole process for how to get groceries and other items for a significant discount. I can't wait for it to arrive.

Anyway...I shopped two different stores with my game list. I selected Kroger, and although there weren't many items on my list this week due to the holiday weekend, I saved $19.63 and spent $23.92. It was easy to do! Then we went to the other store, which I won't mention by name, because the experience wasn't nearly as good. They had some of the deals, but they were already out of a lot of the items and the store wouldn't substitute similar things. The employees were also not very helpful when I had questions, the store was incredibly busy, Luke was crying some of the time, and basically I decided not to go back to that store - I think I'm going to stick to Kroger. By the time we left the 2nd store, I just wanted to go home and suck my thumb! By the way, I don't recommend doing this little activity with your three-year-old who needs a nap. BAD decision. I'm going by myself next time.

At the second store, I spent $112.31 and saved $31.15. I would have saved more except they were out of some of the items I needed. So, my total savings for today were just under $51.00. Not too shabby for my first attempt! My goal is to save enough money each month that it pays for Leah's school tuition...a goal that should be easily attainable.

Try it for yourself - it's amazing! It only costs $10 every 8 weeks - $1.25 per week. And the first 4 weeks is free to try so you don't have to worry about paying for something you if you don't like it.

Moby Wrap, I Adore You

Some good friends recently gave us a gift basket of baby items for Luke. It had a toy, a bottle, a pacifier, and a Moby Wrap carrier and receiving blanket. I was especially excited to try the carrier. I'd used other carriers before but never one like this.

It is hands down the BEST baby product I've ever owned. I absolutely love it. And Luke is so happy sitting in it. It swaddles him tightly against me and he immediately goes to sleep in it. I can very discreetly nurse in public if necessary and when he's particularly fussy, he calms right down - so I even wear it when watching TV, sleeping, and doing chores around the house. The beauty of it is that you really do have two hands free to do other things and he stays safely inside. It's made of a lightweight cotton that is very soft and breathes well - which has been wonderful in our hot climate. I really wish that I'd discovered it earlier so I could wear the girls in it. The other thing I love about it is the way that it provides support across my back - both lower and upper - and doesn't put pressure in one part of my back the way other carriers sometimes do. It's awesome!

The other thing I love about the Moby products is the receiving blanket. It's especially large and made of the same soft, breathable cotton so we'll be able to use it to wrap Luke up even after he's bigger. So many of the receiving blankets now are so small - which is fine if you have a newborn, but not so good if you have a bigger baby who still wants to be swaddled or wrapped up. This is a fabulous blanket.

And the best part? If you want to own either of these products, they're completely affordable! The carrier is only about $40, and the blanket is under $20! Such a great deal - especially when other carriers and blankets are so much more expensive and not nearly as nice.

Have a baby? Try it! Need to buy a baby gift and not sure what to give? I'd highly recommend the Moby Wrap and Blanket. They're both winners in my book!

The Story of Luke

Luke Reagan Bartlett joined our family on Thursday, August 13, 2009 at 6:01 pm. He weighed 7 lbs, 10 oz, and he's 19.25 inches long. We are so in love with him!

I was admitted at 5 am on the 13th for an induction because of my history of blood clots. We checked in, and got settled. They started my antibiotics and ran those for a couple of hours before hanging the pitocin drip. I also got my epidural around the same time as my pitocin because I was already contracting so much...I suspect that I may have been in early labor on my own already. Unfortunately, the epidural caused my blood pressure to crash to 66/32, which made me feel horrible. I hope to never experience that again. They were able to quickly fix it with a shot of ephedrine and things got much better.

My doctor broke my water around 1:30 pm, fully expecting Luke to arrive soon after based on my birth experience with Leah. Unfortunately, Luke had other plans. His hand and elbow were up next to his head and the doctor was unable to tell if he was holding the umbilical cord or not. She tried a couple of times to push his hand out of the way but he moved it back again. Things continued to go very slowly throughout the afternoon, so I finally told my family to come up to the hospital because some good friends were bringing everyone dinner. Mom and Dad arrived with the girls just after 5 pm and shortly after that, I started complaining that I could feel nothing on my left side, but could feel every contraction on the right side - I was getting really uncomfortable. They tried to refresh my epidural but it didn't work. I told my doctor that I was still feeling a lot of pain and she checked and said, "Oh gosh - he's RIGHT here! It's time to have a baby." Just a few pushes later, Luke joined us.

It was fun that my family was already at the hospital - they got to come in the room right after Luke was born and we had a great time holding him and getting to know him. I had the most amazing labor & delivery nurse - she has children similar ages to our girls (and coincidentally is also a good friend of one of my neighbors!), and she asked Anna Claire and Leah if they'd like to watch her check out the baby. At our hospital, the baby never leaves your room - even to be cleaned up, checked out, etc. They watched her do all the newborn procedures on Luke and she was so patient with their many questions. Then the nurse asked if Anna Claire would like to give Luke his first bath. She was SO excited! Our nurse Michelle really made the experience so special for us - Anna Claire washed his hair, bathed him, then put a diaper on him and showed Michelle how she could swaddle him (she learned this in her sibling class). It was so neat.

We came home on Saturday night, and since then, we've been settling in pretty well. He's a great eater and loves to hear his sisters talk to him - he's really responsive to their voices. He is nursing approximately every 2-3 hours and sleeps well in between, which allows me to rest. Since Gary had to go back to work this week, it's been nice to have my parents here - they are such a help with the girls, laundry, cooking, etc. The girls have been having a great time with them!

Luke has had some jaundice and he's lost more weight than the doctor would like, but after a couple of trips to the doctor this week and some blood tests, his bilirubin is improving and he's gained 2 oz in the past 2 days, so he's now up to 7 lbs, 3 oz - his lowest weight was 7 lbs, 1 oz. It's hard to believe that he's my biggest baby.

More updates soon - he happens to be sleeping soundly right now in my lap, which has given me an opportunity to do a blog update. The rest of the time, I'm not sure where the time goes - it seems like there's always something that needs to be done!

A Little 'O This and a Dash of That

We're down to less than 5 days until the baby is born. It is a surreal feeling. I can hardly believe that our sweet family of four will become an amazing family of five in a few days. And a boy! What will I do with a boy? I really only know pink, purple, princesses, and fairy wands. I'm fairly sure a little boy is going to rock our world – just not completely sure in how many ways (I'm sure there will be many).

From a pregnancy perspective, I am grateful to only have a few days left. I have had some issues lately with horrible skin itching and the feeling like I'm going to jump out of my skin, both of which cannot be attributed to anything specific except hormones. It's virtually impossible to sleep and although my doctor gave me an antihistamine to help, it only worked well for a couple of nights before I had problems with sleeping again. I am also beyond cranky...probably because I'm so tired. From that vantage point, I'll be so grateful not to be pregnant anymore.

But from another side, I know I only have 5 more days to feel this little life inside of me, pushing on my ribs, hiccuping, and rolling around from side to side. He is so much more active than the girls were – and it's fun that he's awake so much. He is starting to slow down a little, probably because he's running out of room. So I'm torn between wanting so much to hold him and wanting to freeze time where I can feel him inside my belly.

I've been nesting like crazy. I cannot get enough of house projects, cleaning, and organizing. I've even nested at Gary's school, helping him get his classroom set up and decorated so he'll be ready for the new school year. I am a frustrated elementary teacher inside, I think. :)

Gary turned 50 yesterday and we had a good time just spending time together as a family. Last night didn't work out to make his birthday dinner, so we're making it tonight for him. He requested chicken pockets and green bean casserole. Chicken pockets have long been a favorite in our family since we got married. I got the recipe from a family friend a long time ago and I've tweaked it over the years to make it better. I got the urge to put vegetables in it once and Gary told me not to – that it would ruin it. So I think I'm done tweaking it and will leave it well enough alone for now. They're super quick to put together and SOOO delicious – great comfort food! Gary also thinks that if made in miniature sizes, they'd be a great appetizer.

Here's the recipe:

Crescent Chicken Pockets

1 block of soft cream cheese (I use the 1/3 less fat and can't tell the difference)
3 tablespoons of butter or margarine, melted
2 cups of cubed or shredded cooked chicken
1/4 teaspoon of salt
1/8 teaspoon of pepper
Dash of dry minced onion (or you can finely chop and sauté a small sweet onion to add in)
Dash of garlic powder
3 tablespoons milk
8 oz can Pillsbury crescent rolls (I use the low-fat ones and can't tell the difference)
3/4 cup seasoned croûtons or potato chips, crushed into fine pieces
1-2 additional teaspoons of butter/margarine, melted (in a small bowl)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a medium bowl, mix cream cheese, 3 tablespoons melted margarine, salt, pepper, onion, garlic powder and milk. Keep stirring until very well blended and soft. Add in chicken and stir well.

On a greased cookie sheet, separate dough into 8 rectangles (using 2 triangles for each rectangle) and press perforations to seal. Spoon ¼ of the meat/cheese mixture into the center. Draw up the corners of the dough and press together, then press corners together so a solid seam is on each side (no chicken mixture showing). Repeat until you have 4 pockets. Brush tops of pockets with reserved butter, then dip in croûtons or potato chips.

Bake 20-25 minutes until golden brown. Serves 4 (one pocket for each). Can easily be doubled or tripled for larger groups.

Serving suggestion: serve with steamed green vegetables and a green salad.