Insomnia

I’m still awake – I haven’t gone to bed yet. I’m trying to make the best of it. So far, I’ve done 3 loads of laundry, done a bunch of paperwork for work, tidied up the kitchen and living room, paid a few bills, read some of my book, made lunches for tomorrow and am now watching a rerun of Oprah. I have to get up just after 6 am so it’s definitely going to be a short night if I ever get to sleep.

I didn’t used to have problems sleeping at all. But since I had chemo 4 years ago, I’ve dealt with insomnia every so often. It was really bad at first, but it’s gotten better over time. It’s a long-standing side effect from chemo that many survivors experience. I’ve had it more often lately, but probably because I have a lot on my mind with our upcoming move. It’s maddening sometimes – not so much on the weekends, but during the week when I have to be at a full-time job (and act intelligently most of the time), take care of the girls, and all the other things that life brings, I find myself nodding off occasionally…

I think I also can’t get to sleep because I’m in so much pain – I also have residual bone pain and achy joints from chemo, and it doesn’t bother me very often anymore, but this week has been awful – it’s like having a bad case of arthritis and I can hardly move because I’m so sore and stiff – I’m walking like an old lady! I spent most of the day on Sunday resting on the couch (lying perfectly still seems to be the only “cure”) but now that the week has started again and I’m so busy, I’m in a lot of pain again. Normally I take Advil and that seems to help but I can’t take any this week because of my knee surgery coming up on Friday, so I’m left with Tylenol – which is basically like candy and does nothing for me. Argh. I can’t wait until Friday so I can take something for the pain – it’s so bad this week, it’s distracting. I don’t complain much and I try to keep a good attitude about it, but it’s the worst it’s been in a long time. The only thing I can think of is because I’m not allowed to take my vitamins this week due to the upcoming surgery (B vitamins especially make you bleed more). Other than that, it seems to be random.

If you know someone who has had cancer, just know that the effects of treatment go on far longer than the time period when they’re actually receiving it and have no hair…cancer sucks and it seems to be the gift that keeps on giving sometimes.

Alrighty – enough complaining! I’m off to bed to see if I can get to sleep.