Homesick

It happened unexpectedly and caught me by surprise. I was on Facebook tonight, looking at a friend's pictures of a recent gathering of some of my old Bible study buddies, and I just started to cry. They seemed so close in the picture, and yet I couldn't quite reach them. These are the girls I was pregnant with - the ones I met for lunch and talked about nursing and reflux and first steps and losing the baby weight. I wanted to meet them for lunch again – but I don’t live there anymore.

Then there are some of my other good friends. My heart aches for several of them right now who are facing some of life’s toughest moments – and although I know that God is ultimately the One who is carrying them, I would give anything to jump on a plane and go give them a hug…in person, not just a virtual hug.

I feel like I’ve done well with the move. I love my life here and I love the extra time I now get to spend with my family because I’m not working full-time anymore. I’m meeting great people, some of whom have become good friends. But I feel stuck – and very lonely at times. I left the most amazing people in VA…and I feel like I left part of my soul there. I feel ready to embrace my new life here but very unwilling to leave the old life behind…and therein lies the rub.

The loneliness hits at strange times. As busy as I am, I sometimes find myself wandering around my house aimlessly, not sure what to do next. Is this part of the natural grieving process? It may be, but I hate how my heart feels right now…